Is your baby not eating well? Find out why

Is your baby not eating well? Do you have to struggle to make your child eat? Find out how you can handle this problem and share your experience with other parents. Scroll down to let us know your story.

Hunger is a natural instinct and every child is born with an appetite, which is sufficient to take care of his/her needs. When an adult feels hungry he eats as much as he wants. Let us try to understand why a child won't eat even though he/she is healthy as all mothers complain.

There are two aspects of feeding a child. One is nutritional and the other emotional and both are equally important. The problem of food refusal usually starts around six months and reaches its peak at about one year.

What will you do when your baby is not eating?

Tell us what you will do to make your child eat and share your experience with others.

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Till four to six months of age babies cry when they are hungry, drink breast milk and play for some time or go off to sleep. Unless they are sick these babies do not pose any problem as for as feeding is concerned. What happens later and why this problem of baby not eating well starts?

It is very important to remember that a child is constantly growing not only physically but also psychologically. A very important facet of psychological development is the EGO formation. Parents should learn how to handle the immature ego of the child and avoid clashes as for as possible. I shall return to this topic later.

When weaning is started with semisolid food a mother usually complains that her baby spits out everything. A baby has to learn to push food into the back of the tongue. Once food reaches the back of the tongue a reflex action is initiated and the food swallowed.

Till that happens a baby often pushes the food out of the mouth by a forward movement of the tongue and the mother says-my baby not eating. There is no need to worry about this. Gradually a baby learns to push the food back with the tongue.

As a baby learns new skills he enjoys using those skills. After four months a baby can grasp objects. He may insist on holding a spoon and feeding himself. Many mothers do not allow their babies to do that. Hence a baby may refuse to eat altogether.

Babies also want to play with food. They throw food or smear food on their bodies. Mothers should enjoy all these activities. But those who are busy want to finish their work at the earliest and try to force babies to eat quickly. Hence a fight ensues and a distraught mother wails my baby not eating anything.

I have alluded to the EGO formation earlier. A child's ego thrives by getting the attention of other members of the family. When they display undue anxiety in feeding him, the child is sure that he can continue to be the center of attraction as long as he does not finish eating. Hence a child resorts to various tricks when the mother tries to feed him.

He refuses to open his mouth, he runs away from the mother and as he grows older places various demands just for taking his food-asks his mother to tell a story or sing a song, says he will eat only on the terrace or in the garden, or hide under a table or a sofa and expects his mother to seek and feed him, wants to be shown the moon or the stars-in fact the list is endless.

A mother usually asks other members to help her when a baby refuses food and this only aggravates the problem, as the child is able to hold the attention of many people. Complaining to neighbors and relatives who come to the house serves only to add fuel to the fire and the problem of baby not eating well becomes worse.

The crux of the problem is the wide gap between what a mother feels the child should eat and the actual requirement of the child. No healthy child will starve himself. In today’s world there are so many confectionary, biscuits, ready to eat snacks and often a child consumes a lot of these things (friends and relatives shower children with them).

Thus when a family sits for regular food the child won't eat as he does not have any appetite at all and the poor mother thinks that her baby is not eating well. That is why this problem is more common among the middle class and the elite.

Once, the grandfather takes the child out and gets him an ice cream. Next, his uncle goes for a walk with him and buys him a pizza. A relative comes home and hands over a big packet of biscuits. How can a child feel hungry?

Sometimes a child wants to be fed only by parents. In today’s world it is common for both parents to go out for work. The child may be looked after by grand parents or by a third person in a child-care center. Child may not like to be fed by them and may refuse to eat.

When parents come home they are tired, want to eat and go to bed but as the child's emotional needs are not met he demands more attention from them and makes a lot of fuss before taking his food. Psychological problems due to insufficient parental attention can also cause this problem. Hence it is advisable for at least one of the parents, preferably the mother to work at home and give more attention to the child.

While it is true that is totally unnecessary to force a normal child to eat one should not totally ignore the emotional aspect of feeding. It is absurd to say a mother should place food in front of a two-year old child and walk away expecting him to eat as much as he wants.

Such an emotionally deprived child won't eat and may go on starving. But it is necessary to remember that parents need not make their lives miserable in order to feed a child.

Some general guidelines for handling this problem of baby not eating well are as follows. We cannot totally prevent this. Neither is it desirable to prevent this “problem”. It is something that all parents should enjoy.

Imagine a two year old child coming to the dinning table at fixed times, sitting and eating his food on his own without making any fuss and going away. Parents will come running to a Pediatrician complaining that something is seriously wrong with the child!

Avoid giving too much of junk food, chocolate and cakes. While it is cruel to deny these things to a child you can certainly avoid giving them daily.

Encourage the child to eat at regular timings. Avoid food forcing. Be flexible with a younger child. I have seen a mother forcing a child to eat when he is thirsty and crying for water. Play with him while feeding him. Let him use the spoon occasionally and make a mess. When he is too fussy stop feeding him. He will certainly eat when he is hungry.

Enjoy feeding your child. Remember you don’t give him only food but your love as well. Don’t go on telling everyone- my baby not eating well when he is around. Instead tell them he is very good and regular in eating habits.

Page last reviewed on 15th November 2009

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