Working mothers -learn to balance career and family

Once a lady Pediatrician remarked in my presence that though she is treating so many children she is not able to do justice to her own child.

I am not totally against working mothers. I do not say that they should live like slaves of their husbands and spend all the time in the kitchen.

I firmly believe that a woman should give first priority to her family.

Today, with so many electronic gadgets she can complete her household work quickly and certainly make use of her free time to take up some part time job, earn extra money for her family and enhance her self-esteem.

Thus she can avoid depending on her husband for all her financial needs. I know that asking for money even from her husband can be awkward for a woman and I respect her feelings.

But, should a woman work like a man, taking up a full time job throughout her life? I firmly disagree. I know this is a controversial topic and many women will, perhaps be angry with me. They may quote several instances of working mothers having occupied important posts and also managed their families.

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A person looks at things from an angle, which is convenient for him and often overlooks so many issues. I do not think that any sensible human being can disagree with me if I say that something is very seriously wrong with the present world.

As I have pointed in the introduction there is too much of turmoil in the world. Who is responsible for this? When confronted with this question almost every person looks the other way. I can only express my views and hope that I can in some way contribute for the betterment of the world.

Some times one hears the statement “ men and women are equal”. I would like to slightly modify the statement and say, “men and women are equally important”. It is foolish to ignore the physical and psychological differences between a man and a woman.

Had there been no difference at all, why do we have separate contests for men and women in athletics and other sports? Why can’t they compete together? In the human body every organ has its own function. Can anyone say that heart is more important than kidneys or that there is no difference between the two?

Nature has created two sexes with many differences and each one is suited for a specific purpose. Man/woman is abusing the free will given by nature and making a mess of the world.

Man cannot become pregnant, deliver and breast feed a baby. Only a woman can do it. Man contributes a single sperm but a woman carries and nourishes the product of conception for forty weeks. Nature has ordained that a mother should take more responsibility than a father as for as the child is concerned.

The mother is hailed as the first teacher of a child. I want to emphasize that a maidservant cannot be a substitute for a mother nor crèche a substitute for home. Working mothers should always be conscious of their obligations to their children.

Be a work-at-home-mom watch this video

I do sympathize with those working mothers who have no other option but to take up a full time job in order to get the most basic needs. Some of them may have lost their husbands while others separated from their husbands due to various reasons.

But, it is difficult to be sympathetic to those mothers who need not take up a full time job but still do so out of their greed for money or egoism, neglecting their families, particularly children. The problems faced by those children are numerous. Many of them have a miserable childhood.

In any country only a limited number of people are responsible for the governance of the country. They are involved in decision making and guiding the destiny of that country. If they are men of noble character the country will be safe. If on the other hand a country is ruled by a bunch of rogues it will be ruined.

Who is responsible for shaping the character of a man/woman? Parents followed by teachers. If they do not set a good example, children are likely to go astray.

If working mothers spend all their time in earning money, who will shape the character of children?

It is extremely important for mothers to devote sufficient time for the proper upbringing of their children so that the country can get men and women of righteous character who occupy important positions in society.

Today we often read about children from so-called elite families committing horrible crimes like murder and rape. A thorough probe may reveal that the children did not get proper attention from their parents. Their parents are so busy that there is very little interaction between them and the children.

The children, particularly adolescents tend to stay away from homes for long periods, as they are not happy with the atmosphere at home, and get exposed to undesirable company.

Sometimes they are forced to stay elsewhere till one of the parents comes back. But unfortunately such parents cover up every thing using their money and influence instead of pondering over the issue and changing themselves.

In the article on pregnancy and childbirth I have pointed out the importance of the psychological state of the pregnant woman. A working woman suffers from additional stress due to working outside. In India it was the custom to send a pregnant woman to her parents’ house.

She would get sufficient rest and relaxation. In today’s world it is quite common to see women in late pregnancy going to work.

An occasional woman has even developed labor pains in her place of work. The extra stress may induce premature delivery. Often a mother has to leave her tiny baby with her parents to go for work depriving him of precious breast-milk.

Such babies are at increased risk of developing infections. Frequent illness of the baby will have an adverse impact on the mother’s mind. Many of them have a guilty conscience.

Occasionally a mother has even admitted that she could not bring the child, as she was busy. Some times when I ask a question about the child, parents look at each other, as neither knows the answer.

Such a guilty conscience can seriously affect parent children relationship. Based on my own experience I can say with absolute certainty that many tiny tots would get better care and enjoy a happy childhood if only they had full time mothers doing part time jobs instead of part time mothers doing full time jobs.

Infants and young children are often very irregular in their sleeping and eating habits. It is quite common to see them getting up in the middle of the night either for feed or for being picked up. Hence a mother is frequently deprived of adequate sleep at night.

Imagine the plight of a working mother who has to get up early in the morning and go to work. This will certainly affect her efficiency at work leading to problems in the office. This in turn adds to her mental stress which can have an adverse impact on child care.

I am sure that many people are aware of sexual abuse of children. People well known to the victim’s family-relatives, friends and neighbors usually commit the crime. This almost always happens because both parents are working outside and they depend on others to take care of the children for a short time.

Having done a favor those “well-wishers” try to take their due. A few instances are on record when a drunken so-called father came home and raped his own daughter. If only the mother had been at home the poor girl would have escaped.

In the article on psychological problems I pointed out that many children complain of vague pains for which a doctor cannot find any cause.

Some of those children may be trying to prevent their mothers from going out by feigning illness. Almost all of us have seen our children clinging to us and asking us not to go to work but stay at home and play with them.

If at least the mother is at home the child’s longing for parental love and attention will be fulfilled. She can explain to the child why it is necessary for the father to go out and work.

Many parents try to convince their children that if they have a lot of money they can buy whatever they want and enjoy life and hence it is necessary for both of them to work.

While no one can deny that money is very important, it is wrong to think that money is a substitute for everything else. Today’s man is leading a highly unbalanced life and this is a major cause of turmoil and turbulence in the world.

As I have pointed out a woman can make use of her free time to do some part time job and augment the income of the family. Today there are many opportunities for those who wish to stay at home and work.

As computers are becoming a part of life home business is becoming very popular. I have written more about this in the section on earn money online. Once the children are grown up and less dependent she can devote more time for working either online or off line.

Being a working mother can be quite difficult. Please tell us how you balance family and work. Tell us the best options for working mothers in your opinion.

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